Tuesday, the bump was removed from my ear. It did not hurt going out as the biopsy. The bump on my ear may have been caused by my eyeglasses. Wednesday, I wore my contacts. My eyes dry up quick and get irritated. Wednesday morning, my eyes are stinging on the way to work. I take out my contacts to put a solution in. At some point, I realize my left contact is not in. I am on the floor on hands and knees for over an hour. I call my eye doctor’s office. Drive here and we will give you a new one. I am at work 15 miles away. I have to find an optical shop to buy one contact lens in the area of my workplace that I could walk to. Not one place was willing to help because I am not a patient. I put the one lens in a dixie cup with some solution. I was getting a major headache due to the world one eye perfect. This is another point in my life where I feel no one is there. I did my job blind. I can’t see the time. I ran late. It screwed up my day and my client’s day.
Of course, Wednesday was car seat installation day. We had to buy a new one to gave the old one to the babysitter for the summer. 3/4 of my pay goes into child care for the summer for both the girls, when school is out. It’s a placeholder for my job. So, I could only figure out to make myself an eye patch with paper and an elastic band to drive home on one contact lens. I took the back roads home. I drove straight home to get my eyeglasses, then the girls, drive through for dinner and straight to the police to have the car seat installed.
Today, the doctor calls. The pathology report indicates the bump on my ear was caused by pressure by either my glasses or the way I sleep. There’s a risk for the bump to return. I suffered with it since mid-April. The bump hurt. It throbbed! So, I called to see if I could get a new pair of eyeglasses. I am due in October for glasses. I was told that I couldn’t get glasses paid for through the plan. Are they kidding? Just buy another pair and get 20% off. LISTEN 3/4 of my PAY IS GOING TO CHILD CARE THIS SUMMER! I seriously doubt I afford to pay 20% off as I will be just barely taking home a quarter of my pay after childcare every 2 weeks. There is a mortgage, a birthday party for the girls and a conception bill for my daughter’s embryo donation.
Meanwhile, it looks like I still need to figure out how to incorporate working around my oldest daughter’s school schedule at middle school. IT IS EXTREMELY TOUGH WHEN IT IS YOU OR YOUR HUSBAND. Where is this village that people talk about to raise a child? Did I get gypped a village? Two summers ago, I was mentally prepared to enter my own C-section alone, because my mother-in-law was trying to bail on watching my oldest as I gave birth. We never ask for her to care for our children. I wish I had this family/village to help. Unfortunately, my mother died from some form of dementia. We live in a city on a list called the 100 most violent cities in America. I keep trying to get my girls out of here. IT’S THE EYEGLASSES, THE CO-PAYMENTS, GAS FOR THE CAR etc… that keeps us from buying another house and moving. It’s like which came first the chicken or the egg. How do we get out, when bills are piling? I could work longer if my oldest could walk home from school. The houses in that town cost way more than my current house is worth. I am upset and stressed.