It’s been a tough week. Yesterday, I scurried the house looking for my old book for Alateen. My heart is broken again. Never would I think my children could go. Life did not work out as planned. The event of last week. brought a string of mini crisises. An $100 bill unexpectedly came. I have to decide weather to fight this or let it go. Money in a saving account was meant for bigger emergencies. Times are tight right now because child care is expensive, we are working on the house, vacation is coming and the girls have a birthday party. I locked myself out of car. I was late to work. I am down and disconnected. So this is “happily ever after.” Can I have a refund? Another special day ruined. Our family is the first documented case in the world to loosing my daughters to a rare disease due to a dominant carrier. I am a young breast survivor and an infertility/recurrent pregnancy loss survivor. Now we can add alcoholism to the list. He is getting help. I thought I was detached from this person. Obviously, I am not. I am hurt. I hoping for better days. I hope to find peace with the relationship. My heart is sad. I keep staring into space. I am not paying attention, which is costing me a lot personally. The oldest has 2 appointments tomorrow, which are a dental cleaning and a specialist appointment. Hopefull, it is for a routine simple matter. After loosing two children, I can’t handle more. Summer is flying by and I am putting all that I am into the house. I hope the girls birthdays are different this year.