When Addiction Knocks…

It’s been a tough week.  Yesterday, I scurried the house looking for my old book for Alateen.  My heart is broken again.  Never would I think my children could go.  Life did not work out as planned.    The event of last week.  brought a string of mini crisises.  An $100 bill unexpectedly came.  I have to decide weather to fight this or let it go.  Money in a saving account was meant for bigger emergencies.    Times are tight right now because child care is expensive, we are working on the house, vacation is coming and the girls have a birthday party.   I locked myself out of car.  I was late to work.    I am down and disconnected.  So this is “happily ever after.”  Can I have a refund?  Another special day ruined.  Our family is the first documented case in the world to loosing my daughters to a rare disease due to a dominant carrier.  I am a young breast survivor and an infertility/recurrent pregnancy loss survivor.  Now we can add alcoholism to the list.  He is getting help.  I thought I was detached from this person.  Obviously, I am not.  I am hurt.  I hoping for better days.  I hope to find peace with the relationship.  My heart is sad.  I keep staring into space.  I am not paying attention, which is costing me a lot personally.  The oldest has 2 appointments tomorrow, which are a dental cleaning and a specialist appointment.  Hopefull, it is for a routine simple matter.  After loosing two children, I can’t handle more.  Summer is flying by and I am putting all that I am into the house.  I hope the girls birthdays are different this year.


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