Our family has been facing some medical issues recently. I took a break from remodeling. Sadly, my schedule on days off have been very booked. The family ferret has insulinoma (caner of the pancreas). She has required multiple trips to the vet to check her sugar levels. My oldest daughter has been having dizzy spells. I feel like a cab.
Since the family vacation in April, I found a lump on the top of my ear near the skin connecting to my head. It has seriously hurt, when I wear glasses. I thought this is a cyst. For weeks now, I have been trying a number of home remedies to get rid of it.
I had surgery to remove a number of polyps from my uterus in February. I was having heavy bleeding and 21 day cycles. Last week, the heavy bleeding returned. I got up and left stains everywhere. So, I called the OB GYN. They made an appointment for this week.
On the same afternoon, my phone rings again. My daughter’s doctor office called with a neurology appointment for Tuesday, which is the same day as my OB GYN appointment. This neurology appointment is in the morning. The OB GYN appointment is in the afternoon. Both are hour drives in the opposite direction. I thought no problem.
Monday was my physical. I had been suffering with the bump on my ear for awhile. I had to take the youngest with me, since my husband took Tuesday morning to go to my oldest daughter’s appointment. I showed him my ear. He felt a Ears, Nose and Throat Specialist should look at it. He was concerned about skin cancer and if it should be biopsy. Cancer again?
My toddler fell asleep on the drive home. I sat in the driveway in disbelief. My phone rings again. The specialist can see me mid morning on Tuesday. I felt so emotional drained. Yes, I do have my girls and my husband. There is just no family involved in our lives. There isn’t an aunt or a grandmother to call for help with the kids. It’s in these situations, I feel very isolated and alone. (My last C-section erupted with an argument with my in-laws about who was going to take care of my oldest. I actually mentally prepared to go into a C-section by myself with no support.) I couldn’t ask them for help. I spoke to a few friends about the lump on my ear. It made me feel slightly better.
Worst of all, I have been working Monday and Tuesday nights at my other job. The neurology appointment for my daughter made me anxious. I buried two babies due to a rare disease. There was another part of me that knew this was routine. My recent surgery on the polyps reminded me how alone I am. I am running all over the place. I got my glasses tighten. Hope, my oldest, was anxious about the state exams and the neurologist appointment. I promise to take her to one of her activity stores. I spoke to my medical oncologist, who said I couldn’t have a hormonal IUD for cycle control due to my previous history of breast cancer. Some of the IUD’s can thin and make a cycle quicker. We also talked about my ear.
Tuesday morning at the neurologist appointment, it was a bit of a rough start. I am staring at this genetic history form and I am tired, drained and overwhelmed. I am telling her it’s not a good day to ask me if I am in good physical health. Another cancer diagnosis my happen again. Finally, I said, “I am struggling with this form. Our family is the first documented genetic carriers of a rare disease.” The person, we met with softened. All sudden, I felt she got it. Basically, Hope was diagnosis with Vertigo. They want us to see a Ears, Nose and Throat Specialist to rule out allergies. One appointment down. My husband asked to work from home to cover all these doctor appointments. My toddler is very active. He takes Hope to school.
I call my aunt, who is 80 something. She sounds horrible and wheezy due to a cold. I go to check on her. I meet the Ears, Nose and Throat Specialist and explain all the appointments I am going through. She was very understanding. She told me that the lump looks like a cyst, but it should be biopsy. She explained if it is cancer or not cancer, it needs to be removed only. More good news.
I decide to drive home and drop by to see the toddler after eating lunch at my favorite bakery from my childhood memories. I am wiped out. I figure I better update the school nurse. She says to me, “your daughter landed wrong on stage. She is here now.” Now, I know I have to take this kid to the walk in clinic after school. My ear starts throbbing bad from the biopsy.
The OB GYN appointment was okay. There is little they can do to control this bleeding. I leave and I go to check out. There is a couple sitting down talking with check out. I go up to the other window a few times. No one comes. So, I give them their space. All of sudden, a medical receptionist screams at me, “is someone hiding in the hall.”
So, I corrected her. I told her, ” I am not hiding. I have been at the window twice and no one is paying attention.” It’s been a miserable day. I hate doctors. I am at the end of my rope. My ear is really throbbing. No painkiller is touching it. When the receptionist is checking me out, I am telling her to retell me the information. I called my boss and asked to go in to complete my work and leave early. She agrees. I can’t miss work since I have no vacation or sick time.
I can’t go to another doctor. I just can’t. So, I called my husband and told him to take the oldest to the doctor’s. I got good news mostly. I felt so emotionally drained today. My oldest has a groin injury and she can not walk. I spent half the night finding other things for our family to do this Memorial Day Weekend that require no walking.
I have come a long way since starting this blog. I stopped complaining and I am doing things to improve my life. I am making friends. I am aware I can’t discuss my baby loss issues with them either. I tried to get out once a month with my friends to take care of myself.
It was the Friday before Memorial Day that I was diagnosis with breast cancer. It brought new meaning to LONG WEEKEND. Today, I finally told my oldest what is going on with the ear. It was so hard this morning because she was in so much pain and I work during the days Wednesdays through Fridays. Even if I could stay home, she would have missed the state exams. She had to go to school. My ear just throbbed today due to the biopsy. I am hoping for better days. I am also taking this as a warning sign to take better care of myself such as count my steps, quit smoking and sleep right.