It is a mess going on between egg donation program down south vs. the embryo donation program out West. Yesterday, was my first day back at job #2. My first job follows the school year, but there is no benefits. So, when I left job 2 for job 1, I accepted a fill in position. I have had job 2 since my daughter was 5 months old. So, I know them better. Many people were with me as I lost my daughter, cancer treatment and the death of my mother. At times, we had the chance to catch up. I talked about the family trip to Washington DC and the flight to the West Coast last April. My husband at this point is planning to call the West Coast program at this point. The coordinator has a nasty side. I seem to find it. I nicely asked her, because she keeps saying September, so I asked if there was a problem finding egg donors in the summer. I didn’t do this to offend her. The clinic is in a college town and we know some of the egg donors are college girls. He accepted the job offer from another Bank. He was able to negotiate a week in August off. I am trying not to stare at my email. Some days, I can’t help it. The family’s patience is dwindling. It’s possible you will be on meds by mid July. The first week of July is next week. I feel our application was FORGOTTEN when the first coordinator went on maternity leave. I am angry. I was told the profile would come in June. Now the first coordinator is gone… June is too. At this point we are going to go over the new coordinator’s head. She keeps bringing up a profile was offered in April. My job follows the school year and there is no benefits. It cost us about a $1000 to make that trip. I earned no money during Spring break. We needed to save money. All that we have is earned.
That phone call two weeks ago, made me angry. I talk to be to open the lines of communication. I was trying to explain that I was waiting on taking trainings and other events. She say, “we aren’t telling you that you can’t.” She just didn’t say that to me. She is yelling at me that I turned down a profile in April and that the program is a one to three month wait.
Then in the second call I said outright, “I am not trying to give you a hard time. I am trying to get an idea so I can make some plans.”
I almost died. She told me that I was okay. I didn’t think I wasn’t. Could you please apologize for speaking to me rudely like the first call.
I wasn’t frightened to travel alone like I did in April. I talk for a living, so it was hard to board a plane where I knew no one and fly for 10 hours. Some of my internet friends texted me. It really helped. Thank you! One lady at the airport, who’s family was from Boston, had me say some Boston words. Boy, was she disappointment. I appear to have a mid west accent at times because my biological father was from the Midwest.
Plane one had two famous people on board. One was a politician and another some sports figure. The way I am due to my losses etc… I was more concerned about the ultra sound/doctor’s appointment. The Queen of England and the President could have been on board and my brain would have been thinking about the ultra sound.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, the doctors had just approved me trying to get pregnant again after my first baby died. So, when my body was strange, I took these signs of a pregnancy. When I found blood, I thought it was a milk duct infection since my baby was just stillborn a few months earlier. It wasn’t, the cancer tumor had grown enough to cause problems. It was tough on me to return to the same hospital in Boston, where my baby was born still for a second opinion on the breast cancer. I was in denial. I was waiting for the hospital to tell me it wasn’t cancer like what happened with the thyroid cancer when I was 19 years old. I will never forget hearing I had breast cancer again. It really sunk in. So, I get back on the elevator with my husband. I am trying to figure out a life of surgery, chemo and radiation. I wanted to work and stay active. How was I going to do it all with a child. I figured it out. So, it ends up that day, something was being filmed at the hospital. I ran into a famous medical editor. I couldn’t remember him, because my brain was absorbing the reality of our family’s life back then. The point is I hate medical tests. I don’t know too many, who agree to volunteer for anything medical.
My friend has summarized this to me. “Ellen, you have your daughter and isn’t like you can pull her out of school whenever.” School did get out last week. Two months fly by quick! I know parents do it, but I don’t. We are scheduling a visit to the southern program. I have lost all HOPE with the West Coast program. If they come through, okay it is a surprise. It’s going to take until the end of July/early August until we can visit. I need to go back on the birth control pill. I was so happy to have a plan in April. That’s gone now. I am so angry… I shortened our trip to Washington DC to come home and fly out to the West Coast. We spent $1000 doing this. I missed time with my family to travel alone. Meanwhile, summer continues. We are going to enjoy places. Lots to do in New England in the summer.